Moving on – not quickly, but properly – after being fired

Of course, a termination does not affect everyone to the same degree. Maybe you were already considering finding another job, on your way to retiring or something else. But for many, the first phase will be one of shock and denial.

"Our job is not just a function, it's also part of who we are. In phase 1, the brain will deny and downplay the situation. Everything feels a bit unreal. The body’s biological stress response, involving the hormones cortisol and adrenaline, makes it difficult to think clearly."

Don't act in an emotional state

As a consequence, you may act too soon, and that's a really bad idea, says the career consultant.

"I've seen several members immediately looking for a new job, posting their CV on LinkedIn and sending job applications when they're in an emotional state without taking the time to consider the situation. Our members are used to being in control, so they tend to switch into solution mode straight away. But don't make any big decisions in phase 1. It's like playing on a sprained ankle as a footballer. Sit down, look at your terms and take your time."

Of course, you should not go to the other extreme and curl up on the sofa for months, but you should respect that your body is in a shock phase:

"That doesn't mean you're weak. It means that you're human and has a body with a biological response."

Why me?

Phase 2 is the response phase, where you may begin to reflect on why this happened to you and how unfair it feels. You may also experience fear of the future, sadness and shame of being the one who was sacked.

"It's always easier to be part of a major round of cutbacks, but many will still wonder why they were chosen. If you're the only one who's let go, you may easily start blaming yourself, thinking: I'm probably not good enough at my job. There are many possible reactions – you might lose your appetite or have trouble sleeping."

Add to that racing thoughts, irritability and a strong need to explain and talk about what actually happened.

"Give yourself a hug. There’s no need to rush — you’ll find your way. Structure your day and maintain movement and routines that feel familiar to your body. It helps regulate your biology and get back into the routine," advises Sally Lakolk.

You are not yet ready to apply for a job; you risk coming across as slightly desperate:

"As long as you're in phase 2, others will feel that you're not fully present, and that's not good when you want a job. Reach out to others and talk about it until the need to talk about it subsides. It'll prevent you from becoming bitter."

Fewer ups and downs

Phase 3 is about processing. You will develop a more realistic and nuanced understanding of your new situation, and you will experience fewer emotional ups and downs.

"You go from 'why me' to 'now what'? Your identity starts to detach from your previous job, and your stress level gradually decreases. Now you're much more ready to attend a job interview. Now, you start thinking strategy."

In this phase, career consultants advise you to ask yourself open-ended questions:

What did I like about my previous job, what would I like to avoid? Talk to others and get their perspective on your opportunities, reach out to an outplacement consultant, if possible, and former colleagues.

"Explore opportunities for a while instead of pushing things forward. Sometimes it helps to pretend that you already have a job from, for example, 1 August – what would you like to spend time on until then?
Do you want to organise your drawers or spend more time with your family?"

Shift of focus

Phase 4 is the reorientation phase. You are ready to move on, you are more realistic about your previous job and you look forward to new opportunities. You can talk about the termination without getting that sinking feeling.

 "There's a shift in focus from loss to opportunity because you've spent time exploring your possibilities. You feel energetic and efficient, and you stand as a more attractive candidate for new jobs. You may still feel vulnerable, but if you have built up good routines, they will help you."

Bear in mind that, at work, you have probably – hopefully – been used to regular recognition, and it is only natural to miss that during periods without a job. Do something for someone else and that need is covered.

"Set small, specific goals that turn into building blocks on your way back to work. Your job is to get a job. It doesn't have to be tomorrow, but here, in phase 4, you should use your LinkedIn profile and the offers provided by Finansforbundet, for example a career interview or a webinar as part of the career package."

It is also time to use your network to prevent feeling left out, advises Sally Lakolk.

"Everything will be OK, and you'll have the chance to think big thoughts and be reminded that your work is not the only thing that counts."